'I wanted to do what was best for my baby'
22/09/16 Daily Mail
A mother who delayed cancer treatment to give birth to her baby girl, only to see her die a week later, has shared her heart-wrenching story in a TV documentary.
Heidi Loughlin, 33, from Portishead, near Bristol, was three months pregnant when she was diagnosed with aggressive inflammatory breast cancer in 2015.
Keen to raise awareness of the rare form of cancer and to help others, the police officer agreed to be filmed for TLC show My Extraordinary Pregnancy, which followed her and her family as they grappled with her devastating diagnosis.
Heidi, who is a mother to two sons, Noah, two, and Tait, one, was adamant she would have her third child despite the risks posed to her own life by delaying her cancer treatment.
She said: 'I was told women in my position may consider a termination but I have no regrets. I wanted to do what was best for the baby.'
She and her partner Keith Smith opted for a less-effective chemotherapy plan which would not harm their little girl.
But she was told the medicine was not working and that she needed to start stronger drugs as soon as possible.
As a result, she had a C-section on December 11 when she was 28 weeks pregnant, after being told 90 per cent of babies born at this time survive.
She said of the difficult decision: 'I need to be here for all three of my kids. I have to consider all three of them so the quicker we have the treatment, the quicker I can get back to normal life.'
Her daughter Ally Louise Smith was delivered weighing 2lb 5oz and doctors were initially hopeful she would survive.
However, days later she caught an infection and died just eight days after her birth.
Heidi's voice cracks with emotion as she shares her heartache over the loss of her baby with the TLC cameras.
'When Ally was born it was the most intense feeling of love I had when I had my boys,' she said.
'The relief I had that she was OK - for five days she was - we felt we had made the right decision. She was here, she was well and now I could get treatment to be there for all three of my children.
'That is how I felt and suddenly it was all taken away. I couldn't do anything for her, I just had to watch her and I wanted to be able to do something for her because I am her mum and I couldn't.'
Heidi said she had to pick herself up and carry on for the sake of her two sons, who were too young to understand her ordeal.
She also had to carry on with her cancer treatment by having the drug she had delayed taking in order to have Ally.
She said: 'Life is going on while yours is falling apart, it is so difficult. We tried to find rhyme or reason to any of it but there wasn't any.
'I went straight on to chemo to stop the cancer spreading but for a moment I didn't care as I had lost Ally.'
The drug did help stem the spread of the cancer and by July of this year, Heidi was able to have a mastectomy to remove further cancer cells from her body.
Now she is currently undergoing treatment for secondary breast cancer.
Heidi writes on her award-winning blog, Storm In A Teacup, which she set up following her diagnosis to raise awareness of inflammatory breast cancer, that she agreed to carry on filming the TLC documentary following Ally's death to help keep her memory alive.
She writes: 'When I was pregnant with Ally I allowed a documentary crew into my life in the hope of raising awareness of Inflammatory Breast Cancer and Cancer in pregnancy. I wanted to do my bit.
'They filmed everything and most beautifully, the moment my daughter Ally was born. Ally's eight days with us, short but electrified by love.
'I decided to carry on with the documentary as Ally had a lot more to say and I could facilitate that. See, she is her mother's daughter and we never give up.
'Ally is with me, always. She was with me when I watched the documentary and I cried very hard. And she is with me all the nights I lie awake thinking of her. She gives me courage in the darkest of times and bravery in the face of adversity.'
The documentary follows Heidi from the days of her initial diagnosis through to her treatment and fundraising efforts today, and shows how she has faced cancer with positivity and humour.
She said: 'This is my story. It is a hard story but you need to know I am sat here after a lot of those things happening and I am still able to talk to you.
'When you live through something so profoundly devastating you can see the world through different eyes.
'I am exceptionally unlucky but exceptionally lucky as well as I have been given the opportunity to be able to look at life in a completely different way.'