Taking back the power: Tammy's Story
Recently, the incredible Tammy reached out to us and shared her story in the hope of helping others. We believe that Tammy's story will help to empower and encourage women who find themselves in difficult pregnancies facing a whole array of challenging and heartbreaking circumstances. Tammy is such a wonderful, brave, resilient and beautiful young woman and we are honoured and privileged to be able to share her story with you.
'My name is Tammy and I live in Northern Ireland. I want to share my story. My life was going well. I had a beautiful son and I loved being his mummy watching him grow and develop into an amazing little human. One weekend, my world as I'd known it was shaken to its core when I was raped. I was violated in my own house. I spent the next few weeks in anger, disbelief and rage. I was on auto pilot. How could my ex do this to me?!
As a result of the attack I found out I was pregnant. I could not believe this was happening to me. I was numb, betrayed and abused by the man I once loved. My body had been used and abused and now I was pregnant, alone and single. What would people say? I was engulfed in fear and dread. This was not part of my plan. I thought I'd never have another baby and I had made peace with that.
When I told my family and some of my friends about the rape and baby they were shocked and angry for me. The injustice of this crime and the consequences of it weighed heavily on my mind. Some people suggested a termination ( under the circumstances) " No one would blame you" I was told. That was not even an option because in my heart I knew that two wrongs do not make a right!
This baby may have been conceived in violence but I'd make sure it would be born in love! Even though my choice was taken away from me through the act of rape, I had a choice now and I chose life! I chose not to continue this cycle of violence but to end it! I chose to keep my baby.
My baby girl is 3 months old now and I'm so glad she is here. She has blessed me so much. I'm glad I didn't give into fear and peer pressure. When my baby smiles at me with unconditional love I know I did the right thing. Rape is a vile act of violence, taking away your power and dignity. I chose to take back that power. I chose to let her live. He tried to destroy my life but what right did I have to destroy hers? To punish her for the sins of her father? There were of course times I was petrified, would I love her? would I resent her? The day she graced my world with her little presence all those fears disappeared and all I felt was pure love and acceptance; she was mine.'
Tammy's story of boundless courage, limitless love and bold hope in the midst of the most unthinkable anguish serves as an inspiration and an incentive to us all. Life, no matter how delicate, is worth protecting. Every woman deserves real care and support following the trauma of rape - not the violence and pain of abortion. Abortion, in Tammy's case, would only have served to exacerbate the trauma she was experiencing and would have inflicted further violence on an already unthinkably violent and painful situation. Northern Ireland's laws protect the most defenceless in our society - our unborn children - and their mothers in crisis from the greatest injustice in the world today.